


Death of a God

by SkyEverett



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Post-Canon, Redemption, Self-Loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 04:18:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4507491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyEverett/pseuds/SkyEverett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akito had known this was coming from the beginning.<br/>She had never told Shigure, never told Hatori, never told anyone about how, in her own little way, the Zodiac curse still flowed through the former god’s veins.</p><p>Akito is on her deathbed, and she calls the Zodiac members and Tohru together for one last goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death of a God

  _“Cry with me.  Like your entire body is screaming at the sky.  Like it's raging against the sky.  I only have a shred of hope to sustain me.  So I want you, at least, to cry.  With me.  Like the day you were first born into this world.”          -Akito Sohma_  


* * *

  
Akito had known this was coming from the beginning.  
  
She had never told Shigure, never told Hatori, never told anyone about how, in her own little way, the Zodiac curse still flowed through the former god’s veins.  
  
Five years after the curse ended for the Sohma family, Akito fell ill unexpectedly.  All Hatori had said after examining her was that it was a violent case of the flu, and that it should be treated immediately.  But Akito knew more than that.  And she knew that Hatori knew, too.  Her time had come.  For her, the burden wasn’t completely over and done with; she still had to die for her fellow members of the Zodiac, her  _Juunishi._   But she had accepted it, though Shigure had refused to believe it at first—that after only three years of marriage, she was going to leave him forever.  
  
But such was the god’s fate.  She had to die for them.  Always for them.  
  
She half-raised her head from the pillows that Shigure had propped up for her.  “Shigure?”  Her voice was weak and frail like an old woman’s.  Not at all like the spritely 25-year-old she was supposed to be.    
  
Immediately he was there.  She still felt bad for liking how willingly he came to kneel by her side, just like a dog.  “Yes?  What is it, my love?”  
  
“Did they come?”  
  
Shigure smiled then; it was a sad smile, one darkened by the thought of death.  “All except Ren-kun.”  
  
Ren was still a grey area to Akito.  Ren was certain that after the curse broke, Akito would have no one to love her and Ren would be right in her claims that a “bond” between the  _Juunishi_  members did not exist—that only the curse kept them close to Akito.  But when Shigure announced his love for Akito, Ren was furious.  She tried to take Shigure away from Akito by reminding him of the time they slept together and the joy that they shared.  But Shigure was loyal until the end, and Akito had not seen or heard from her since.    
  
Akito still kept her hair relatively short because she didn’t want to be reminded of Ren every time she looked in the mirror.  Didn’t want to be reminded of the woman she could have become.

Akito nodded.  “But everyone else?”  
  
“Everyone else is here.”  
  
Akito smiled.  “That’s good.  All gathered together…one last time.”  She struggled to sit up straighter; after all, she was still the head of the family.  “Let them come.  I need to speak with each of them.”  
  
Shigure nodded and left the room.  Every single day, every passing hour that she had spent with him, she had been telling him the same thing over and over again:  _“I love you.  I love you.  I love you.”_   There was no more to be said.  
  
The first person Shigure brought in was Kureno.  Akito’s heart immediately lifted with joy upon seeing him.  Gone was the empty look in his eyes whenever he gazed upon her.  Gone was the stiffness of his arms and shoulders when he moved around her.  Gone was that feeling that he belonged to her and should stay by her side forever, curse or no.  She reached out towards him with one shaking hand.  “Kureno…come here.”  
  
There it was, the slight tightening around his neck, but he came anyway.  He sat by her bedside and smiled down at her.  “Hello, Akito-sama,” he murmured.  
  
She smiled back at him.  “Kureno.  How is the family?”  
  
“Fine.  Uo and I are expecting.”  
  
Akito nodded.  “That’s wonderful.  Is it a boy or a girl?”  
  
“We don’t know yet.”  
  
“I’m sure he or she will be a wonderful child.”  She reached up and brushed some hair out of his face.  “I have hurt you so much for my own selfish desires…forgive me.”  
  
Kureno glanced at Shigure, who then glanced at Hatori in turn, and Hatori gave the tiniest of nods, but Akito didn’t see that—her eyes were fixed solely on Kureno, her bird that she had always kept in a cage.  
  
Kureno nodded.  “I already have, Akito-sama.  I have a good life now, and I am no longer scarred by the memories of my curse.  Know that.”  
  
Unable to tell whether Kureno was lying or not, Akito merely smiled and rested her hand on the bed-sheets.  He had said his curse.  Almost like he was talking about something else entirely.  
  
But before she could ask, Kureno was already retreating to the farther end of the room as Ayame took his place.  Shigure had told her that when she was conceived in Ren’s womb, he and his friends had cried for her.  Ayame was crying now, and Akito was filled with an urge to look away—she didn’t want to be the cause of anyone’s suffering anymore.  
  
“You look beautiful today, Akito-sama,” he whispered.  
  
“I should,” answered Akito.  “You made this for me.”  
  
“Did I?” he asked, laughing.  “It must have been so long ago…”  
  
The kimono she was wearing today was a sapphire blue color and some of the most beautiful red and purple lotus flowers in the world were sewn into the shoulders and the bottom.  
  
“Of course you did,” she replied.  “Do you think you’d forget your own handiwork?”  
  
Ayame flipped his hair.  “Of  _course_  not!”  
  
Akito laughed.  She had never liked him when he was being flamboyant, but that was better than seeing him cry.  Hatori reached out to put a hand on his arm, but Akito stopped him.  “One more thing,” she said.  “Thank you for taking care of Yuki when I…when he was suffering.  Please continue to do so…”  
  
Ayame snorted.  “As if I would leave my poor defenseless brother alone.  What kind of man do you think I am?”  
  
Shigure laughed then—it was short, but it happened.  Akito mentally cursed herself for not seeing sooner.  Ayame brightened any room he was in, even if only for a moment.  He would be there for Shigure.  He would help him.  
  
“Thank you, Ayame…” Akito trailed off and closed her eyes.  Ayame then stood up and walked over to where Kureno was.  
  
“Akito-sama…I arrived late―I'm sorry…”  
  
Akito looked up at Ritsu as he walked in.  He was wearing a white collared shirt and brown pants.  His long orange hair had been hacked off—he looked just like any other man.   _If anyone looked at me right now,_ thought Akito,  _they would never guess that I, too, once passed for a man._  
  
“You’re fine, Ritsu,” answered Akito.  “In fact, you’re not the last one.”  
  
“Oh!  That’s good…”  
  
Akito didn’t like the fact that Ritsu apologized for everything, but she was going to miss his rambling.  Her poor little monkey…she was glad that he had gotten back on the right track.  
  
“How is Mit-chan doing?” asked Shigure with his familiar smirk.  
  
“E-eh?” Ritsu turned to Shigure.  “She’s—she’s much happier now that she doesn’t have to edit your manuscripts anymore…”  
  
“Oh?” answered Shigure.  “You know, I’ve been thinking about getting back into that business.”  
  
“Wh-what?!” Ritsu stood up.  “I have to tell her—but Akito-sama is here on her deathbed—I apologize for not being able to be in two places at once—!”  
  
“Shigure,” said Akito softly.  
  
Shigure stopped immediately with a laugh.  “I kid, I kid.”   
  
“Relax, Ritsu,” ordered Akito.  “I know you feel for Mitsuru-kun.  Nothing of the sort will make her go through the stress she did again.”  She glanced at Shigure.   _“Ever_  again.”  
  
Shigure put his hands up in surrender.  “I promise not to be a nuisance to the happy couple.”  
  
Akito smiled and nodded for Ritsu to go away.  
  
Two people approached next—Kisa and Hiro.  Akito said nothing for a while.  Hiro and Kisa were in high school now, and they had bright lives ahead of them.  Akito didn’t even want to look at Kisa, for fear she would see her bruised and battered, lying against the doorway…  
  
“Hi, Akito-sama,” greeted Kisa softly.  Akito dared glance at her, and was immediately pulled in by her hazel eyes, which were filled to the brim with tears.  She was crying for the source of her and Hiro’s suffering…such a sweet and selfless little girl…  
  
“Hello, Kisa,” answered Akito shakily.  “You’re looking well.”  
  
“Listen, Akito-sama,” interrupted Hiro a bit harshly.  “Kisa’s fine.  We’re both fine.  It’s in the past now, and you don’t have to feel guilty.”  
  
 _Liar._   Akito could see the faint trembling of his shoulders and the way he put his hand defensively on Kisa’s back.  They were never going to forget the horrors that Akito had inflicted upon them.  Never.  But for the last few moments of her life, the god let her ram and tiger humor her.  “All right,” she answered.  “I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s alright, Akito-sama,” replied Kisa softly.  “Hiro and I are graduating soon.  We’re going to live happy lives, so don’t feel sorry for us.”  
  
Akito smiled then, and acknowledged their accomplishments with a nod of her head.  Hiro shrugged and half-smiled in return, so Akito knew he had least brought down his barrier a little for her.    
  
But then Hiro had his hand on Kisa’s back and he was leading her away, leaving Akito with so many conversations that were never going to happen.  But she had to swallow her feelings as a wave of dread rose up inside her at the sight of the next couple: Hatsuharu and Isuzu.  
  
Isuzu had refused to speak to Akito after the curse was broken, and they rarely saw each other on occasion.  Haru had reluctantly forgiven Akito after she had managed to save Tohru’s life, but Isuzu…Isuzu was almost like Ren in her hatred for Akito.  Nevertheless, Akito smiled at them when they approached.  Hatsuharu half-smiled, but Isuzu barely looked at her.  
  
“Hello, Hatsuharu,” greeted Akito.  
  
Hatsuharu shrugged.  “Yo.”  
  
“You’ve grown,” Akito replied.  
  
“Yeah, I guess I haven’t noticed.”  
  
“Ah…you’re not dumb, Hatsuharu,” Akito said suddenly.  She had spent most of her life thinking that he was nothing but a big, dumb, funny ox.  She regretted that life.  “You know that, right?”  
  
“Yeah,” said Hatsuharu, but Akito couldn’t tell whether or not he was talking directly to her.  
  
“Hello, Isuzu,” Akito tried, but Isuzu turned her head.  Because of her thick mane of hair—it had grown back—Akito couldn’t even see her face.  Another wave of dread and self-loathing rose in Akito, and although Shigure squeezed her hand encouragingly, she couldn’t speak…she had caused too much suffering for this couple.  
  
Suddenly Isuzu grabbed Hatsuharu’s hand and pushed him back a little.  Hatsuharu got the unspoken message, nodded to Akito, and took his place besides Kisa.  Isuzu knelt down and thrust her face into Akito’s.  Isuzu’s fierce brown eyes burned into Akito’s grey ones, but Akito could see her shoulders shaking.  “Yes?” asked Akito, trying not to sound firm.  
  
“It was you, wasn’t it, Akito?”  
  
The words were spoken only for Akito, in a voice so soft that Shigure, who had blinked in surprise at Isuzu’s sudden actions, could not hear them.  
  
“What?” she whispered back.  
  
“It was you,” repeated Isuzu, “not Honda-san, who broke the curse?  You.”  
  
Akito nodded.  “Yes, it was.”  
  
A shudder ran through Isuzu at that moment and tears sprang into her eyes.  “Thank you,” she whispered.  “Thank you for freeing Haru…all of us…thank you.”  
  
Akito blinked in shock as her own eyes filled with tears.  “Isuzu…” she whispered, reaching out to caress her shoulder.  How much courage had she gathered to say that?    
  
But Isuzu pulled away, not allowing Akito to touch her.  “And it’s ‘Rin’,” she added, before going to stand by Hatsuharu.  
  
“Well, what happened there?” asked Shigure, trying to joke around.  
  
“Shut up, Gure-nii,” called Rin from the other side of the room.    
  
Shigure put his hands up.  “All right, I won’t pry.”  
  
Kagura approached next.  She and Akito never really thought to talk, but she knew of Kagura’s feelings for Kyo.  
  
Kagura opened her mouth to speak, but Akito cut her off.  “Thank you, Kagura.”  
  
Kagura knit her eyebrows in confusion.  “For what, Akito-sama?”  
  
“For looking after Kyo.  I’m glad you were there for him back then.”  
  
Kagura smiled sadly.  “You’re welcome, Akito-sama.  And…thank  _you.”_  
  
“What did  _I_  do?” asked Akito.  
  
“You freed him.  And destroyed the cat’s room and ended everything.  I think…that Kyo has been happier with his life ‘outside’ than he ever has been.  So…thank you.”  
  
Akito smiled.  “You are a smart young woman, Kagura.  I’m sure you’ll find someone soon.”  
Kagura beamed.  “Thank you so much!”  She knelt down beside Akito and gave her a quick hug.  “I think I’ll miss you, Akito-sama.”  
  
Akito opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.  She was touched beyond words at Kagura’s actions.  And Kagura had always been a girl who spoke with her actions.  After a final smile in Akito’s direction, she too took her place with the other  _Juunishi._  
  
Momiji approached next.  He had been the second one to be released from the curse, but the one that spread his wings the moment he got the chance.  He was, and would always be Akito’s little bunny, but he had grown so much and so fast over just five simple years…  
  
 _“Guten tag,_  Akito-sama!” he greeted cheerfully.    
  
Akito laughed.  “You haven’t changed a bit, have you Momiji?” she asked.  
  
“Oh, I’ve changed some,” answered Momiji, “but I’m not a completely different person, y’know!”  
  
“Aren’t you sad, Momiji?” asked Akito.  “I’ll be leaving this world soon.”  
  
Momiji’s smile faltered, but it didn’t leave his face completely.  “Yeah,” he answered.  “But I don’t want your last moments to be filled with guilt—‘cause you’ve already got so much of that, Akito-sama.”  He squeezed her shoulder.  “I’ve forgiven you already.  For everything you’ve done—not just to me, but to Kyo, and Yuki, and Ha’ari, too.  So why shouldn’t I greet you with a smile?”  
  
Akito’s exhaled.  “You’re wise beyond your years, Momiji-kun,” she said.  “Never lose that wisdom, all right?”  
  
Momiji’s smile grew bright again and he gave her a “V” sign.  “Okay!”  
  
Yuki.  
  
All of the guilt and dread that she had when she had seen Rin was nothing compared to what she felt now.  Even after five years, Yuki still trembled slightly whenever he was in the same room with her.  Akito always thought of it as nothing but a muscle reflex, but he was afraid.  And Akito, in her past as the  _Juunishi_  god, made sure he feared her.  
  
“Akito.”  There was no “sama” added to her name when he said it, and it was spoken like a statement, a fact, no emotion behind it.  
  
“Yuki,” replied Akito, making no attempt to conceal the regret in her voice.  “I’m—”  
  
“Save it.”  His words cut across hers like a knife.  “You don’t get to apologize.  No matter how many times you try,  _I won’t let you.”_  
  
From the corner of her eye, Ayame’s hand went out towards his younger brother, but it was slight, a motion only for him.  
  
But Akito knew that this was Yuki’s own way of avenging himself.  No matter how many times Yuki pleaded for Akito to stop torturing him, Akito wouldn’t.  Now, Yuki held the whip over Akito, instead of the other way around.  And Akito was willing to accept that, now that she wasn’t God anymore.  
  
“However,” Yuki continued, “you rescued Honda-san, and for that I’m grateful.  And you finally decided to give up the thing you clung to for years.  You finally accepted the inevitable.  I’m impressed.  And in all those years, you’ve never impressed me.   _Never.”_  
  
Akito said nothing.  He was right, of course he was right.  She deserved this.  She deserved anything he could throw at her.    
  
“Do you regret what you’ve done, Akito?”  
  
“Yes,” she answered.  “I’ve been trying to atone ever since the curse was broken, but…I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear about that, would you.”  
  
“No,” Yuki agreed.  “I wouldn’t.”  He glanced at Shigure, then at Hatori.  They must have given Yuki some sort of sign, because Yuki closed his eyes and sighed.  “But I guess I don’t have anything to fear now, do I?”  
  
If Akito looked really closely at Yuki now, she could see the young boy she had hugged all those years ago.  That sweet, innocent little boy who always wanted to interact with the  _Juunishi_  and make friends.  That was all he ever wanted, and now…  “No,” she answered.  
  
“Honda-san once told me that people can meet each other halfway,” Yuki said.  “I’ve done that with Kyo, and I’ve done that with Nii-san.  Was it ever possible…even that one time at New Year’s…to do that with you?  Ever?”  
  
Akito bowed her head.  “I believe...that it's safe to do so now,” she replied.  “I regret any pain I caused you, I promise.”  
  
“Huh,” Yuki answered.  “She also taught me that every person has some good in them.  You just have to be able to reach it in order to truly understand.  You were raised in the same way I was.  With expectations and a mother who in the end, thought nothing of you.  I barely knew my father, and you barely knew yours.  You were raised to cling to others, but unlike me, you only ended up hurting them in the process.  And now...” Yuki paused to look at his family members.  “Here they all are, forgiving you.  I don't think I can do that, but in the years to come...” He sighed.  “I'll try to find a way to understand you.”  
  
Akito gasped softly; she had not expected this.  Perhaps there was some redemption for her after all!  “Thank you so much,” she whispered.   _“Thank_  you.”  
  
Yuki sniffed, his eyes still holding repulsion and fear toward her, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Hatori nod at Yuki with a smile.  Yuki returned the gesture with a tight one and joined his family on the other side of the room.  He never looked at Akito again.  
  
“Well, I don't think I can follow up with something like that, or you might break altogether, huh.”  
  
Akito looked away from Yuki and into the bright orange eyes of her neglected cat.  
  
Akito had been fearing this moment more than even her talk with Rin, but now that she was staring into his eyes, she saw that there was no need.  In his eyes she saw that his self-loathing had disappeared completely.  Being freed from the burden that only he had to bear, from those horrible, accursed beads, had lightened his self-esteem very much.    
  
She had taken part in some of that.  She had gone to talk to Kyo's father.  He was the first to know that Kyo had been freed.  He was the first to know that the cat's room was going to be destroyed.  The only bad thing about that was the fact that Kyo wasn't.  
  
So while she felt remorse for what she had done to Kyo, she also felt relief.  
  
An enormous amount of relief.  
  
“Hello, Kyo,” she said simply.  “I see you're doing well.”  
  
“Yeah,” Kyo answered, scratching his head a little awkwardly.  Akito could see that he didn't really know how to approach her, either.  “I...well, things are good for me.”  
Akito smiled warmly.  “I'm glad to hear that.  You have such a wonderful life ahead of you.  Use it well.”  
  
“Uh, yeah, I will,” he answered.  “Listen, Akito...”  
  
“Yes?” she replied.  “What is it?”  
  
“You said once that if I could beat Yuki, you'd let me join the Zodiac.  You pushed all the blame onto Yuki, and because of that, I hated him.  I wanted him dead, or worse, just so I could join the  _real_  Zodiac family.  But, now that I come to think about it...”  Kyo looked down.  “Did I really want that, or did I just want to be accepted?”  Kyo looked over at Yuki, and Yuki nodded slightly.  “I think that what I really wanted...was what Yuki had.  Friends, people to lean on.  I think all I really needed was for everyone to stop neglecting me.  And since the curse has been broken, I've never felt neglected.  So, thanks for that, I guess.”  
  
Akito smiled again.  “I'm happy for you.  And I should tell you, I didn't lie to you that one time.  I really do like you, Kyo.  And I trust that you'll live an abundant life.”  
Kyo grinned.  Akito had never seen him smile before.  It was a beautiful smile, one full of light and vigor.  “Anything's possible, Akito.  I can finally believe that now.”  
  
At last, Akito turned to the girl who had started it all, the single person that had changed Akito's short life for the better.  She was visibly shaking as she knelt down in front of Akito, tears streaming down her already red face.  She tried to speak, but her tears were suppressing her ability to speak clearly.  “A-a-akito-s-san...”   
  
“Please don't cry, Tohru,” Akito said immediately, raising a hand in a futile attempt to wipe them away.  “Please.  You might make me cry too.”  
  
“I'm s-s-sorry,” Tohru replied, furiously trying to wipe her tears away.  She grasped the hand that reached out for her.  “It's just...o-our time together has b-b-been s-so short...”  
  
“I wish I would have taken more time to get to know you, Tohru,” Akito said, “but for the limited time we have...I just...”  Akito suddenly found herself short of breath.  No, she couldn't die now.  She still had so much she needed to say!  “I just wanted to thank you,” Akito said, trying to continue.  “You...you've brought everyone so much peace and joy...and you've taught me something important...so incredibly important...”  Her vision was getting fuzzy now.  She struggled to get the words out.  
  
“What is it, Akito-san?” asked Tohru, her eyes wide.  Something told Akito that she too could sense the god's passing.  “Please tell me...”  
  
“You taught me...what love is.  And...you taught me to love again.”  
  
“Oh.”  Tohru smiled through her tears.  “Well, it's thanks to my mom.  She...she taught me a lot about helping people.”  
  
“No,” Akito whispered, squeezing Tohru's hand.  “It's thanks to you.   _You.”_  
She could feel herself fading now.  She looked out at her family, though she could only see a splash of orange here, some black there, colors weaving together to make an abstract painting.   
  
“Thank you for coming,” she whispered, hoping they could hear her.  “I...love you all...”  
  
The last thing she saw was a single tear on Shigure's cheek.  Hands, some big like Hatori's, and some small like Kisa's touched her hands, her shoulders, but she couldn't differentiate one from the other.  Had the angels come to take her away?  
  
 _God...I leave them in your hands now._  
  
 _Goodbye._  
  


* * *

  
  
A bright light shone in Akito's eyes.  Sunlight.  She raised a hand to block it and take hold of her surroundings.  
  
She was sitting on the soft green grass of a field, and the branches of a tree gave her shade.  The sky was a peaceful blue, and not one cloud dotted it.  She could see large trees on the edges of the field, but they were too far away for her to see any details.  The tree above her was spotted with red flowers—the same kind that Shigure had given to her.  The petals fell on her white kimono and danced in the slight breeze.  
  
Akito suddenly realized that she was a child again, with short black hair and a red bow wrapped around her waist.  One of those red flowers rested in her hair.  For some reason, that made her smile.  
  
“Akito...”  
  
Akito's eyes widened and she stood up, the red petals on her lap scattering in the wind.  She  _knew_  that voice.  Where was it coming from?  
  
“Akito, my darling...you've made it...”  
  
Akito gasped as she noticed another figure standing not too far off.  His shoulder-length hair and his silver kimono waved in the breeze.  His smile was one of infinite joy as held out his arms to Akito.  “Come here, my child.”  
  
Akito's eyes filled with tears as she ran into her father's arms.  “Father,” she sobbed.  “You're here.”  
  
“Yes,” answered Akira Sohma.  “I'm so, very very proud of you, Akito.”  
  
“B-but...” Akito sniffed.  “I brought everyone hardship...I only made their lives worse...”  
  
“And yet you did the right thing in the end,” Akira reminded her, laughing.  “For that, you could not have made me happier.”  
  
“Were you…were you ever in that box?” Akito asked.  “The one the maid gave me.”  
  
“No,” Akira answered, “but I was always right beside you, my little flower.”    
  
He laid his hand in hers, and she held it like a lifeline.  “Come on, Akito,” he said.  “Let's go home.”  
  
Akito nodded happily and followed him, free from her burdens at last.


End file.
